You can't run forever
by broken-inside-x
Summary: "You are formally invited to the union of Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson"  He's hoping it'll finally bring her home.
1. Chapter 1

Rachel Berry had never run away from anything in her life. She had been the only child to stand still when someone used the "I'm coming to get you" line in tag, simply retorting that there was no point running from the inevitable, none of her "friends" had known what inevitable meant, they just shrugged their shoulders and explained the rules again until eventually they stopped asking her to play altogether.

When Noah Puckerman began the High School tradition of slushy facials she had been on the top of his list of gleeks, followed closely by Kurt and Artie, both who received their own special form of bullying in the form of dumpsters and porta potties. Instead of avoiding him in school as the two boys had taken to doing, she began to carry a change of clothes and a towel, shutting her eyes beforehand and then efficiently cleaning herself off in the nearest school bathroom. In the week they had been dating, Noah had questioned why she never hid from the football team, who'd jumped on the bandwagon long after he'd come to his senses, and for the second time she simply answered "There's no point running from the inevitable" which was met with a pitiful glance and an apologetic pat on the back instead of the curious eyes of kindergarten kids who were hasty to being their game.

The first time Finn's caught cheating was during senior year with a blonde cheerio who they all agreed, and had no qualms telling her, looked freakishly like Quinn, the only difference being the crooked nose which had clearly been broken during her childhood. Mr Schue had told her that he would understand if she wanted to take some time away from Glee but she had walked proudly back into the choir room, her head held high, after the loud and truthfully, scary, argument that she'd been having with Finn in the corridor after Jacob Ben-Israel had caught his frisky make out session with the junior on tape and had plastered it all over his blog for the entire school to see. She'd sat in her usual chair in the front of the room, ignoring the horrified stares of her fellow Gleeks as Finn had followed her, a red handprint splayed across one cheek, landing heavily in the chair next to her, a sheepish grin etched onto his face as he slung his arm around the back of her chair. Mercedes had jumped to her feet with a cry of her trademark "Aww hell to the no" whilst Santana piped up with a "Your just going to let cream puffs get away with it that easily?" before muttering something unintelligible in Spanish. She'd only whispered "There's no point in running from the inevitable" before turning her pleading eyes to Mr Schue, begging him to force the attention back to him and their impending loss at Nationals if they couldn't even decide on a set list for Regionals.

In her last year of college at NYU she lands an audition for a role in an off-Broadway production and she's ecstatic. She calls her dad's to share the news and together they tell her how proud they are of her before letting her go so that she can let everyone else know too. She rings Kurt who insists on dressing her for the audition through the high pitched squeals whilst Blaine tells her how much she's going to rock. Pucks there too, he's been hanging around with Blaine a lot since his transfer from OSU to NYU this year and for some strange reason they've become as close as her and Kurt have. He tells her that she'll blow them away with her awesome voice and the tiny skirts she still wears on the odd occasion. It doesn't cross her mind that she hasn't rang Finn, he smelt of cheap perfume when he finally showed up for their date last night. The week flies by and suddenly she's in the waiting room listening to some bitch tell her that she's too small to have a voice big enough for this role and instead of punching her like Puck taught her to do to any "whore" who told her she was anything but awesome, she waited her turn and belted out her favourite Barbra song. She didn't get the role but it was satisfying enough to watch the painted red lips fall open in amazement. When Blaine asks her how she's feeling after her first bitter taste of rejection she simply states "I'll get another audition. There's no point running from the inevitable"

Rachel Berry was no quitter.

So when Kurt wakes up to the empty apartment he and Rachel share only to find a note taped to his favourite jar of coffee saying

**_ There's no point running from the inevitable_**

**_ I'm sorry, Rach._**

he prays to the God he so adamantly believes is make believe that this is some kind of joke and that she's just overslept and when he wakes her up she'll start one of her marathon rants about how mad her directors going to be, this is her first role on Broadway and its Maria just like she'd predicted it'd be all those years ago. Only when he storms into her room fully intent on waging a war with Blaine and Puck, the reason behind this stupid prank, it's empty and deep down he knew it would be…there was no star when she signed her name. Her bed is made, the duvet is folded back neatly and her pillows are placed symmetrically on either side of the double bed. Strangely enough though there aren't any sheets, her usual purple ones aren't strewn across the floor where they're usually found on the days they've designated as washing days. There are no clothes or shoes thrown haphazardly around the floor and the glass of water that he knows she took to bed last night isn't on the nightstand, neither is the script that she keeps there for nights she can't sleep, he later finds out that she gave her script back to the director and told him she was resigning due to personal issues and that the role of Maria now belonged to the obnoxious and arrogant understudy.

He almost pulls the doors off of her wardrobe as he yanks them open and finds for the first time he misses the sight of her clothes, granted her fashion sense has improved since he knee socks and animal sweaters. The hangers are bare though, later he'll find half of her clothes folded neatly in a bag labelled charity, including her remaining animal sweaters and a large red jersey with the number 20 emblazed on it which goes missing a few days later, she'd left it next to the bin in which the photos that had adorned her walls are ripped into pieces and he'll wonder how he missed the fact that she was falling apart but for now he's still slumped in front of her wardrobe as his shoulders begin to shake and he tries to key in the number of someone who'll know what to do because Rachel Berry's no quitter and he can't help but question what made her abandon the life she'd worked so hard for.

"P…Puck, she's gone…He finally convinced her… she's gone"

And that's when sobs overcome him and he finally accepts that his best friend has left him. He can hear Puck shouting questions he can't answer at him down the phone that he's let fall to the floor but he can't find the strength to answer him and instead he just cries and thinks about the stacks of herbal tea in the kitchen and the hot little black dress he's designed for her first official cast party, the one she'd gushed about followed by an hour of her telling him how proud she was of his creations and how far he'd come and how she had the perfect shoes to go with his greatest design to date. She'd promised that this Friday they'd order in Chinese and watch musicals until the early hours of the morning, just the two of them, between their respective jobs and Finn and Blaine and Puck it had been a while since they'd had any time just hanging out together like old times, before things got difficult and now she was gone and he was pretty sure it had something to do with the woman who'd showed up on their doorstep in a fit of rage because apparently Finn was not an "exclusive" kind of guy. Kurt had rolled his eyes in disgust at the barely there clothes and the cheap hair dye that hadn't covered the dark roots that were growing at the crown of her head.

Why did they always have to be blonde?

He could remember all too clearly having to talk Rachel out of dying her lovely chestnut locks blonde, after coming home to find her sitting on the bathroom floor in tears with a home dye kit spread out in front of her and the shower running. The hair dye was still in the bathroom cupboard, safely tucked away behind the millions of hair products that he owned, that's unless she'd taken that with her. It hits him again that she's gone, they haven't spent 2 days apart since Nationals in New York that first year and he wants to kill Finn for suggesting that they move back to Lima, for planting the idea that if they were back in Ohio maybe he'd stop cheating on her and if he didn't, oh well, she deserved it anyway, she should be good enough for him.

"Kurt?"

Blaine's voice breaks him out of the memories and the logical part of him thanks Puck for keeping hold of the spare key that Rachel had insisted they have in case of emergencies because he feels too weak to be able to put one foot in front of the other and his vision is still blurred by the tears, he doesn't even have the strength to call out to Blaine who he knows is probably searching the house methodically whilst he can hear Puck cursing quietly as he stomps his way straight to Rachel's room.

"Fuck"

That's the first word that leaves his mouth when he finds Kurt falling apart in her room and it makes him sob even more because if Rachel were here he'd be apologizing and saying sugar instead of shit which is what he's repeatedly muttering under his breath as he rips all of her draws open, searching everywhere like he's suddenly going to find her hiding under the bed and he finds it endearing because suddenly he's not the only one who feels lost without her.

"Surely she hasn't gone back to Lima with him?"

He hears Blaine question before he's enveloped by his boyfriend, he hasn't moved from the floor in front of the wardrobe yet and he doesn't think he can walk around their apartment, _his apartment,_ without missing her.

"I'll rearrange his fucking face if she's in Lima" Puck grumbles as he pulls his phone out, dialling a number he knows by heart. It only rings three times before Kurt hears the faint echo of a "hello" and he's drawn into the one sided conversation, trying to get as many clues as to what the other voice is saying.

"Hey, Mr Berry, It's Noah"

"Has Rach..."

"So you've spoken to her?"

"She's not?"

"Fuck" his fist comes crashing down against the wood of her dressing table which is no longer filled with her make-up and perfumes, causing both he and Blaine to flinch slightly, he'd forgotten how out of control Pucks temper can get.

"What're my chances of a guilt trip and the puppy dog eyes working?"

"Didn't think so"

"Thanks Mr Berry, say Hi to the other Mr B."

"Yeah I will. Bye"

He hangs up, turning away from them as he runs his hands over his shaved head, the Mohawk long gone.

"She's not in Lima" Pucks voice sounds rough, the sentence short and clipped and he still hasn't turned around to face them "She's asked her Dads not to tell anyone where she is. Fuck they didn't even know she was leaving New York until they got a phone call this morning from a fucking airport!"

"So she's definitely not in Lima?" Blaine questions, his eyebrows rising in confusion.

"Apparently not. I'll get my Ma on the case but wherever she is, doesn't sound like she'd coming back." He turns round to face them then, Kurt's still crying although his sobs have changed to a constant stream of silent tears as he grips onto Blaine who's looking just as upset as his boyfriend. Puck looks no better though; Kurt can see the lost look on his face and the fists that are clenched at his sides. "Looks like it's just us three from now on"

That sentence breaks all three hearts.

_**I know I need to stop writing new stories when I've still got so many unfinished but most of this ones penned out already (: This'll be the last one though, pinky promise. (:**_


	2. Chapter 2

"Yo Kurtsie you best not be fucking Anderson in there! Long day and that's not what I need to hear man" Puck yelled as he slammed the door shut.

He'd moved in with Kurt after his last landlord had kicked him out because he'd told him where he could stick his rising rent prices. That apparently hadn't been the most mature thing to do but it had been 8 o'clock in the morning and he'd only finished his shift at 3am. He'd been pissed to say the least. Kurt had been struggling with his own rent and despite the amount of time Blaine spent there he could never quite shake the lonely feeling, Kurt had asked and he'd accepted. Simple. Blaine'd be moving in soon too, although it wasn't like it'd take much, he practically lived there as it was what with both his best friend and boyfriend being across the hall, they would just be making it official.

He dumped his shit on top of the pristine counter in the kitchen, it's not like they ever cooked their own food, they were regular customers at the Chinese a block away.

"Don't worry your pretty little head Puckerman. Blaine was just helping me out with a new design. No clothes were shed" Kurt grinned as both he and Blaine made their way out of the room "And what have I told you about calling me Kurtsie? I sound like a puppy you brought in off the street. Actually don't answer that."

Blaine was chuckling to himself as he pulled open the fridge door, grabbing a bottle of water and throwing it at Kurt who, in an attempt to catch it, began flailing his arms, grateful when Pucks arm shot out and caught it before handing it over to the smaller man.

"New design huh? What shits he got you wearing now?" he asked Blaine as he accepted the bottle of beer he'd been passed, popping the cap before throwing a curious glance at the horrified look on Kurt's face, kid looked like Puck had just stamped on his Alexander McQueen collection.

Kurt however was very aware of how much Pucks remarks were for show, he'd been his biggest supporter in the last year, even surpassing Blaine, he just tried to hide it to protect his 'badass rep', he might as well still have the damn Mohawk. Although Kurt was unsure of whether the NYPD would appreciate an officer looking more like the criminals they arrested rather than the actual arrester.

"Actually" Blaine began, looking in Kurt's direction, almost as if for permission which he got in the form of a small nod "We've been discussing wedding outfits"

A grin broke out across both of their faces as Puck opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, wracking his brain for the words to describe how amazing that was before pulling Kurt into a hug that he was not ashamed to admit was far from manly.

"Shit man, that's awesome"

"So eloquent Puck but yes, it is indeed all kinds of awesome. It was so romantic too…Blaine asked while we were in Central Park earlier…and he was on one knee and there was music being played and oh Puck…"

"S'awesome but I don't need all the sappy details Hummel, not without more beer. You told your Dad and Carole yet?"

"Nope" Kurt was practically jumping on the spot "We wanted to tell you first because you know, you've been our biggest fan this last year, heck we wouldn't have met if it hadn't been for you asking me to spy back in high school. Even though you're regularly stuck in the middle of what seems like World War 3…"

"Not to mention listening to Armistice day is fucking traumatising" he cut Kurt off, who gave him a disapproving look before carrying on

"…and yes, listening to us making up must have made your poor ears bleed Puck but you really have been the best friend either of us could ever have hoped for"

"Which is why you're gonna be my best man" Blaine chipped in "I'm not taking no for an answer dude"

"Wouldn't even dream of it but can we cut the feelings crap before I actually have to check if I've still got my junk" he smirked back at the two.

He really was thrilled for them; it was about time in his opinion. It'd be strange though, not the fact that they were gay, heck he'd beaten the shit out of the last person to tell Kurt he was unnatural, rather that they'd be married, fully tied down and settled whilst he had yet to keep a girlfriend for longer than a night. For some strange, delusional reason though they seemed to think he'd been an awesome friend when he couldn't even count the amount of times they'd been there for him. Like when he'd graduated cop school, they'd sat there with his Ma and his sister Sarah clapping and wolf whistling like their lives depended on it. When his Nana Connie had passed away he had dragged their asses back to Lima because he didn't think he could handle it on his own, though he'd never admitted that to them they already seemed to know that he'd needed someone, needed them. Blaine had helped shoulder the coffin because Nana Connie hadn't known many people and they were one man short whilst Kurt had held his hand as they lowered her into the ground because no other dude could get away with that shit. The first time he'd been injured on shift Kurt had come screeching into the hospital ward demanding to see Officer Noah Puckerman and yes they were definitely family by now. It was only a small gash on his right arm thanks to a pocket knife but Kurt had stayed with him whist they stitched it up, his face pale due to the sight of blood but still, he'd never left. The first time he'd seen a dead body, it had been a child the same age as Beth would have been who'd found herself on the wrong side of a gun war, Blaine had taken him out and gotten him so pissed that he couldn't picture the lifeless blue eyes staring back at him or the gaping hole in her stomach and then when he'd started singing again they'd cheered till their voices were hoarse, even Blaine who'd had an interview the next day, at his first open mic night in over 8 months. His fingers had been shaking and he hadn't even been sure he could remember half of the chords but he'd kept his eyes trained on them the entire duration of his first song, grinning at the arm that Blaine had wrapped tightly around Kurt in the overcrowded pub they were in. So yeah…maybe living with Kurt had meant that he'd had to evolve emotions that didn't include beating the shit out of anyone who even tried to make a joke that involve either of his bro's sexuality but fuck he was no girl, so this whole feelings talk was beginning to make him feel the need to down his beer and punch something.

"You gonna drag Chocolate Thunder and her ass out to the big City to be maid of honour Kurtsie? Fuck it's been months since 'Cedes was out here!"

He didn't miss the pointed look that Blaine shot his boyfriend though, it was the 'don't-start-this-again-you've-clearly-lost-your-mind' look and usually its consequences ranged from awful to outright disastrous. Kurt however either missed it or ignored it before ploughing on.

"Actually…I was thinking Rach."

Clearly this was going to be one of those disastrous results.

"Not gonna happen"

Puck didn't stop to watch the hurt flash across his face before stomping his way out of the kitchen, his good mood had evaporated and the mention on her name brought on an insane need to get hammered.

"Why not Puck? She promised me she'd sing at my wedding whether it was legally in New York to Blaine or not. She promised!" Kurt was screaming at him by the end of his sentence, his voice having risen despite the warning look on Pucks face and the calming hand Blaine had wrapped around his ar.

"Well shit, she promised to be there when I graduated cop school too but I didn't see her in the damn stands did you?" he snapped ignoring the glare he was getting off Blaine that clearly said 'I-can-kick-your-ass-if-I-have-too'. Sure he wasn't that douchey guy anymore but he could still take Anderson down if needs be but the look on Kurt's face as his eyes welled up made him feel 3 inches tall.

"Damn Kurt, you got the puppy dog eyes down perfectly. Look, I'm sorry man."

"Still no luck tracking her down I take it?"

"Nah…I've tried everything short of filing her as a missing person. Berry clearly just doesn't want to be found. There's a guy up in Tech Support who owes me a favour so I'll see if I can cash that in for a phone tracker, that's if she hasn't changed her number yet."

The last year had been harsh on them all, especially Kurt who had refused to accept that she had left him, left them all, heck the cupboards were still stocked with herbal tea like she'd walk in the door and put the kettle on, reprimanding him about his language before asking Blaine if he'd influenced any young minds today, the guy was a kick ass teacher. But she had, she'd left in the middle of the night, making her dads promise to keep her where abouts a secret but even then they hadn't spoken to her in nearly 3 months and his Ma reckoned they were telling the truth. Finn had shown up in Lima a few days after she'd left sporting a nice black eye which both Mr Berry's thanked him for although he hadn't mentioned seeing Finn before he'd left New York but they were Rachel's parents, course they were gonna know shit they shouldn't. He'd tried to track her down through work, but she hadn't left him any clues, even going as far as to change her credit card so they couldn't be traced, he just hoped that she'd been ignoring their calls rather than switching numbers completely.

"But look, if you wanna send an invite out to the Berry's I'll see what I can do. They might forward it to her if I ask nicely and promise to clean their pool when I'm back home next or some shit. She won't come though and you're gonna end up hurting because that shit will always hurt."

He didn't bother waiting for an answer, instead grabbing his stuff and heading towards his room. He didn't need Blaine's sympathetic looks or Kurt's shaking shoulders.

He tried, he really did.

When she left he had been the first one to move from her room, putting the kettle on to make Kurt his coffee and ripping her note from the tin and dumping it in the bin. He'd stopped in his tracks when he'd seen the red jersey peeking out from the big bag it had been stuffed in, the large 20 in striking white. It didn't smell like her anymore. He'd left it in the charity bag, turning away from it like she'd automatically disappear from his memory. Only when Blaine had mentioned he was getting rid of the remains of her stuff for Kurt who'd been hanging on to it for weeks now he couldn't stand the thought of running into his jersey on the streets of New York, instead choosing to bury it in the back of his wardrobe like some kind of teenage girl.

A year later and it still hurts, he can't help but wonder what the fucks wrong with him.

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><p><strong>Not my best guys but I tried, hope it's not too bad. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and 'favourited and added an alert to the first chapter! You guys make me smile (:<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

"Yes Ma, I'll try to ring more often" he sighed for what felt like the hundredth time in the last 10 minutes. His Ma had rang him just as he and Kurt had arrived home after diner with Blaine, that had been over half an hour ago and her idea of saying goodbye to him had consisted of her guilt tripping him into phoning home more often as she had been doing for the last 10 minutes. He could hear his sister laughing loudly in the background and imagined her sitting there, laughing at his expense. Her boot clad feet resting on his mother's pristine coffee table and her tiny body sprawled out across the sofa whilst she played with the fraying hem of her jean shorts and twisting the cuff of his old leather jacket, something she'd taken to wearing constantly since he'd left Lima. His Ma would be pacing the length of the room, questioning where she went wrong in raising a son that couldn't be bothered to pick up the phone long enough to let his mother know he wasn't lying in a ditch somewhere, dead and without having given her any pretty Jewish grandchildren.

He'd managed to avoid the guilt trip for a while as she asked about Kurt and Blaine and their wedding, and whether he'd booked hers and Sarah's train tickets to New York for the big day in a few weeks' time. It didn't last long though and she'd swiftly moved on to berating him for giving her at least 3 new frown lines. Woman was batshit crazy if you asked him.

"Goodbye Ma!"

"Yeah, I'll try and ring tomorrow"

"Love you too Ma"

"Yes, tell the midget I love her too"

"Yes Ma, Goodbye!"

He rolled his eyes as he hung up the phone, throwing it at Kurt who was giggling quietly to himself on the sofa, he doesn't even bother trying to explain how telling his mother he loves her makes him a total badass, instead he just makes his way into the kitchen, intent on making himself feel more manly by downing a few beers. He's also intent in forcing one or two down Kurt's throat. Pucks not sure whether it's the upcoming wedding or the new gig he's got, designing his first major red carpet dress, but he's never seen the guy so stressed. The usual calm and collected demeanour had been replaced by nervous twitches and the inability to sit still for longer that a 5 minute period, even Blaine was struggling to get him to relax. Not that he's complaining about that part because the walls in this place were thin and he'd kind of liked the latest few nights of snoring.

He's just reaching for the cans of beer, neatly stacked next to Kurt's never-ending supply of water in their fridge, when he hears the knock on the door and Kurt moving to answer it, his feet dragging on the floor.

"If that's Anderson tell he must be seriously lonely! We only left the guy an hour ago!" he calls into the next room, still searching through the fridge to see if they had anything edible and in date to eat, he's not expecting to find anything though.

The door to the apartment opens but instead of Kurt's chipper voice greeting Blaine or the polite 'hello' that he reserved for strangers, the apartments silent. That is until he hears a soft 'no' coming from the door. That's when he gets worried because nothing shocks Kurt, he's always expecting the unexpected but it's impossible to deny that the guys unusually small and his strengths lie elsewhere other than fighting which is why Puck rushes towards the door, intent on defending Kurt from whatever the fucks waiting for him on the other side. He's no expecting what he finds though and the can of beer that he'd been gripping in his hands slips slowly from his grasp, dropping heavily to the floor as the sound of metal on wood shatters the silence that's enveloped the room.

"Rach…"

Her eyes had been glued at Kurt who had paled about 10 shades, all colour draining from his face, but at the sound of his voice they flitted up to meet his, shock written clearly across the plain of her face. She wouldn't have expected him to be here, she wouldn't know because she'd abandoned them all over a year and a half ago, just as their lives were getting started.

She looks good; at least to the untrained eye she looks good anyway. Her skins a nice tanned colour and her hair falls in a mass of curls around her face. She's still the small, lithe girl that she'd always been but the 5 inch heels on her feet gives her that extra height and emphasises that fact that her legs, which are clad in jeans that cling to her legs like a second skin, go on forever. He can see the faint outline of the bruises underneath her eyes though and the faint smile on her lips doesn't seem to make them gleam as they once had. Compared to the pushover of a girl that had let Finn Hudson walk all over her and her dreams though, she looks good.

"Long time no see Rach"

He can't help sounding bitter and he's thankful that she finally has the decency to look ashamed of herself, her eyes dropping to stare at the floor. Since joining the NYPD he's found controlling his anger a lot easier, it's something he's learnt but he can feel all of his control slipping at he stares at the woman he's been tracking for the last year only to hit a brick wall every time, the woman who just disappeared off the face of the earth taking his heart with her. He's been angry at a lot of people since she left. Finn for pushing her into it because no matter what he'd like to think he knows there had to be a reason behind her just leaving, Kurt for not hearing her leave in the dead of the night, her Dads for not seeing how much she was hurting him and just telling him where she was, his Ma for not being able to get more information out of the Berry's. Himself for noticing she was falling apart. He can feel in rising now though, all of that anger and hurt directed at her small frame but he tries, maybe in vein, to control himself because Kurt's staring at her like she hung that stars in the sky for him.

"I…I know and I guess…it's time to explain why"

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><p><em><strong>Hellooo (: just so you know, this chapter was just to fill in the space between her turning up and her explanation which will be the next chapter and will hopefully be updated soon. Thank you for reading guys!<strong>_


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, sorry for not updating. I wasn't sure I was going to finish the story at all in fairness because I don't have a clue what to write anymore but I'm going to try and in the spirit of trying here is the next chapter. Hope its not too rubbish (: Thanks!**

"You're back?"

The hope in Kurt's voice is almost painful to listen to and Puck finds himself thinking of finding him falling apart in the middle of Rachel's room that morning. All alone and looking lost for the minute it took Blaine to wrap his arms around his boyfriend. The need to protect Kurt from that kind of pain again overwhelms him and he begins to channel the old Puck, determined to not let her see how much he's affected him despite the fact that Kurt's gone from smiling to frowning and back again several times in the space of 2 minutes, tears welling the entire time. Puck'll just have to be strong for both of them.

"What're you doing here Rachel?"

Anger laces his voice and they all hear it loud and clear. She pulls her gaze away from Kurt and stares at him defiantly, so unlike the girl that had hung on Finn's every word that it actually shocks him and for a second he's proud of her. Just a second though because then he's back to thinking of the lifeless look in Kurt eyes that day and the McKinley jersey that he still hides in the back of his wardrobe.

"I told you. I'm here to explain so you can either invite me in or I'll just tell you here"

Kurt invites her in just as Puck tells her to stay and there's an awkward moment where Kurt gives Puck a death glare and eventually moves back to let Rachel in, against Pucks wishes of course.

The fact that she's just been let into her own home isn't lost on any of them and for a moment that terrified, out of place look he recognizes from the Finchel saga returns as she takes in the changes to the apartment.

There are photos of Kurt's graduation and Puck is his police uniform, his leather jacket is slung over the couch next to Kurt's neatly folded jacket, fashion magazines are littered around the room along with beer bottles and even an empty pizza box from last night. Kurt's left some of his designs on the table and, despite the constant insistence from Puck that this is a guy's apartment; there are even scraps of material and a sowing kit lying around. Some of Blaine's stuff has already been moved over and there are several of his boxes lining the hallway with his name scribbled across them and a crude drawings that Puck was very proud of.

Still pissed at Kurt for letting her in, Puck landed himself heavily in the armchair in the corner of the room, stopping to pick up the can of beer on his way and waited for what was likely to be an epic excuse as to why she'd chosen to break 3 hearts in one night.

"So come on then Rach, what was so important that you had to disappear of the face of the earth for? 'Coz we know you ain't been slumming it in Lima with Hudson" he snaps at her, irritated by the calm way she folds her hands on her lap as she sits next to Kurt on the couch. Kurt's still looking at her like his dreams have all come true, and he thinks they probably have, he considers calling Blaine over to sort Kurt out and sends a quick text to let him know what's going on.

She took a deep breath and tugged on one of her curls nervously, her eye downcast and her two front teeth chewing on her bottom lip and for the first time he thinks about how painful this must be for her because, behind all of his anger, he knows there must have been a good reason, he could see what Finn was doing to her.

"He was cheating" she sighed "You knew it and I knew it, hell I think everyone knew really and they all…they all looked like her"

Neither he nor Kurt pretended to not know who she was talking about, they'd noticed long before she had that all of Finn's other women had been tall with blonde hair, blue eyes and a tiny waist, they'd all looked like Quinn.

"I could deal with the cheating, he promised he'd stop and I believed him, foolishly. I trusted him and I guess that was my mistake. I thought that if I could be better, be less me, then he'd realised he didn't need all those other girls. And yeah…I know that you all tried to warn me but I was just so…so in love with him that I didn't see what you guys were talking about. Even when he suggested moving back to Lima I didn't see it, I was willing to give up my dreams and my life here in New York because he made me believe that the cheating would stop, that somehow we'd be better in Lima than we were here in New York. He said…" her voice falters and she looks up, wide eyed and worried, straight up at him.

"What'd he say Rach?" In his gut Puck knows what's about to come out of her mouth and he knows he isn't going to like it.

"He said that being away from you would fix things, our friendship was destroying the relationship, that it was my fault he was cheating. I know how stupid that sounds know but back then I was so used to hearing that it was my fault that I just believed him, especially when he said that you wouldn't…care…if I left, it'd mean nothing, you had Kurt and Blaine and New York. So I considered leaving, I thought about it hard but what I didn't consider was why he wanted to go back to Lima. That was until…until you mentioned…until you mentioned that you were sending the latest picture of Beth, from Shelby, back to Lima…so Quinn could see it because that's where she was. I hadn't known that she was still there until then and it all made sense. The cheating wouldn't stop and I was done, I was tired of not being good enough for Finn so I said no…I said no"

Kurt moves him hand to grasp hers and Puck can see why because at this point in her story she looks scared of continuing and he knows for certain there's more to come. She opens and closes her mouth a few times, her knuckles turning white on the grip she has on Kurt's hand and her eyes bouncing from him to the door. As much as he doesn't want to admit it, it crosses his mind that she's scared of him and try as he might to reassure himself that she wouldn't think that of him he can't get the idea out of his head as she struggles to continue talking.

"I said no and…and he hit me."

"HE DID WHAT!?" Puck explodes as he tries to control the flash of red he sees, he now understands that she wasn't scared of him but rather what he would say. He can see the shock and the anger in Kurt's face too and he knows that they're both imagining snapping Finn's neck as Rachel hurries to explain.

"It was just the once and it wasn't anything big" she rushes, her eyes darting between the two guys "It didn't even leave a mark. His anger got the best of him and he lashed out but that was the final straw for me. I came home, said goodbye to you guys without actually saying goodbye and packed. I regret leaving the way I did, I should have told you guys, but I don't regret leaving. I'd lost so much of myself in that relationship that I didn't know who I was. I couldn't breathe here and I couldn't forget that Finn was only a few minutes away at best; I was scared so I ran."

"He..he" Kurt's stuttering now and that's usually a warning for the tears that are close behind, Rachel seems to know this though as she turns to face him, her hand still grasping at his like it's a lifeline.

"That's not the point Kurt! The point is that I left and I'm sorry, God…I'm so sorry that I left you like that, that I left you all like that."

"He…" Kurt seems to need to say the words out loud, to hear them from someone else's voice other than Rachel's which has been shaking for the last few minutes.

"He hit you" Puck says, his voice steady and his eyes staring at them both on the sofa. "Finn hurt you. You didn't tell us. Then you left."

His mind turns the whole thing over and he resist the urge to laugh, just laugh at everything because how could he have not known. When he'd moved to the city he'd been half in love with her already. They'd spent countless days together trying to figure out his future and practicing for whatever audition she had coming up, they'd gone running together and shopping too, they'd spent hours lounging around the apartment and playing music. His eyes had never seemed to stray far from her, no matter how many women he took home with him, his eyes never left her. So how had he now known?

"Where have you been?" The questions seems to explode from Kurt's mouth, like he's somehow lost control of the words spilling from between his lips. "We've looked everywhere. I'm sure your Dad's hate us now and we rang every Gleek! Puck even used up his favours at the station looking for you! We traced your phone for Christ's sake!"

All the anger that he'd been waiting to come from Kurt comes spilling out and he has to admit that he's never seen the dude this angry at Rachel. He expects her to look ashamed of herself and repeat how sorry she was before asking her questions but what he gets instead blows his mind.

"You became a police officer?" she questions, her voice quiet and her eyes wide, a small smile, the first real smile he's seen on her, tugging at the corners of her mouth. She sounds proud, almost like his Ma did when he told her. "You did it"

That moment sticks with him and all the anger that had built up within him over the last 18 months melts because she's finally proud of him.

"I was in LA with Santana, I didn't tell my Dad's exactly where I was going and I told none of the Gleek's and neither did she. I did a few plays up there, taught a few classes while San did her lawyer thing. She's here in the city with me, she's moving her firm to New York and so I have the option of staying here or going back to LA but either way, it felt like the right time to come back." That defiance that she portrayed earlier comes back to her now and her eyes shine as she continues "I know how angry you guys must be at me, I get that, I do but I'm staying. I want the career I've always dreamed of, LA was great but New York's my home and I'm not giving that up again. I want you guys back too though; I'd love my family back even if it takes you years to forgive me, even if it takes a lifetime. I'm staying"

The words are barely out of her mouth before Kurt throws his arms around her neck, hugging her tight. Rachel looks shocked, like she hadn't expected him to forgive her so quickly, but Puck doesn't think he's ever seen her smile so bright. That smile that didn't reach her eyes earlier is gone and just like that she's the old Rachel again.


End file.
